Some things i may be over but Why do you give a girl a teddy and say "Don't lose it" and then not even bother to make contact with her?! You don't get it... everything felt right... I felt comfortable with you, you had seen me at my worse and yet it seemed like you still liked me... they say you don't talk to many girls and that you talking to me soo much must mean something... I believed that and then you go and just ignore me...but why? because i didn't put out? Because I didnt go as far as you wanted to?! well maybe you should reevaluate whats important to you in a relationship and actually get to know someone a little better so that you don't get all romantic with them just to get frisky with them.  I still wonder how far you would've gone if I hadn't stood up for myself.... Cause looking back now that seems like that's all you wanted was to get all sexual with me but that's not me. I have values. You need to accept that. So was our friendship fake then?? Cause before that happened we actually talked about life and had decent conversations, but then I don't put out and now nothing? not even a reply to my text. Well I aint gonna hate on you. You leave for Belgium in a couple of days and im gonna text you wishing you luck no matter how much you don't want to hear from me. Cause I'm a nice person who actually cares about other people and doesn't use them and them throw them out like a snotty tissue!

YOU...

I was watching something on TV today and their smile.... its reminded me of you..... reminded me of our talk sitting on the log by the bonfire that you wanted to "check on" even though you knew it would've gone out... and the log... the log that you wanted to "try out" cause you hadn't sat on it for a while..... you make me smile... that last night when we spent so long just talking and enjoying each others company meant alot to me....the way we always  turned around and looked in each others eyes when we were talking...the way we were always smiling around each other... they way you put Valentines Day on  when it was just the 2 of us because you "hadn't seen all of it." they way you kept saying you were getting flustered when we were cuddling made me laugh... the way you hugged me when you had a knife in your hand.. hahaha and then said "it would be awkward if i got you with the knife" haha I remember everything from that night because of they way you made me so happy. What differentiates  you from my close guy mates? they're all big girls! You're not... you are a big softy esp towards your dog but you're not a big girl! You are you, funny, casual, nice, sporty, modest, humble, cute( personality and looks)... its all these things that make me like you.... the way you have me on about not doing dishes or not making dinner for everyone.... they way you put your alarm clock next to my wall to wake me up at 5am! Just everything but i havent heard from you since and IDK why...... =/  and the teddy you gave me..... when you gave me that and i had to go back to my room cause we had both said we were going to bes i jsut sat on my bed and looked at it, thinking about you and how cuter action it was that you gave me that.... and the way you said "don't lose it" made it sound like "don't forget about me when I'm away" ... we may not be able to have a relationship given the circumstances but it was one really nice fling that hopefully, if its meant to be will be more than just a fling....

i hate feeling like i was used for a one night thing. What we had i thought was meaningful and i actually thought you cared but the lease you could have done was contact me but maybe I had you all wrong and you're not as perfect as I thought you were....

"How many times do I fly through your head space? Now it's speeding away from the safe place, Yeah, Your skin, the touch, The kiss, the rush, too much, And here it comes
When your lips touch mine, It's the kiss of life, I know, I know that it's a little bit frightening, We might as well be playing with lightning,"

I dont particularly want to see you tomorrow... you havent done anything but i just dont feel like it..... i'm really tired and would quite like a day to myself where im not being nagged to do anything and i can just rest... but how can i tell you that without you getting grumpy.... i cant....

GRRR

i tried to stop liking you but then you got brought up and i couldnt help but like you again..... well realise i still like you....ive been offered ...by your mum ironically to come stay skate down there when i want and i can even get one on one coaching and i can come down for some races aswell...i would get to see you.... that would be cool... give me a chance to see if anythings there or if its just what people are seeing that makes me feel like i do....I don't know...... you logged off during our convo today.... and then came on later and still didnt reply... is it cause you are upset with how you've gone and dont really want to talk about it or are you ignoring me cause you don't want to talk to me... IDK..... I just wanna give you my number or get your number so i can text you... would be way easier.....

The distance between us

I can't get you out of my head. But I don't know why....Is it the factors of everyone else that makes me like you or is it just you? You are so good to talk to and you're so sweet but there's too much distance between us. What if there wasn't i ask myself... Well then maybe we could have something but I don't even know if you are just being nice or if there is something there. I haven't known you for long but you are ticking alot of boxes on my checklist. There's just something about you, a certain charm that brings me close to you.... but then i know its unhealthy to feel like this when we could never work with the distance between us but I can think it would be nice if it could work, if there wasn't the distance. But there is and i just have to suck it up and create a friendship with you and not something more....