Rebound girl

Noone can see this and that's what good about it... noone can tell me not to go there, not to like him or anything like that, i just want t osay what's in my head....

Last night we were texting...no surprise there.... it was about 11pm you were out and i was in bed. i said that i was snuggled up in bed because i was cold... the last thing i expected you to respond with was "awwww *snuggles up with you* ;)" What are we doing? You got told nearly two weeks ago that the girl you've been in love with for 3 years doesn't want you to move to America with her... well asked you not to anyway.... ever since then we have been texting heaps..... but not just normal texting..... flirty texting......And i don't want to be the rebound girl.....I know that you had feelings for me and you were going to throw everything away that you had with her to chase me and you decided to stay with her...nut just cause now she's leaving and you're not doesn't mean that you can just rebound on to me.... You've had a rebound girl before and i know ALL ABOUT IT! you told me....and i don't want to be another her...  I get that you said you felt real bad about that and you should never have done that but it worked you got her back..... that's what you said and i don't want to be treated like that..... I deserve to be treated with respect..... we have this amazing friendship where we can talk for hours and insult each other on end and I don't want you to take that for granted.....Our friendship and you mean so much to me..i know it hasn't been long but it does but there's also the potential for something more... you said the other day "when do i get to see you?" i told you when you get back from being away... your response? "YAY =D" What kind of response is that? a flattering one yes, but not just a friendly one...a flirty one.....you're not just going to be able to get over the one you've been in love with for the 3 years quickly are you? Its going to take some time and i don't want to be in a relationship or romantically involved with you until you are over it... this means waiting to see it hit the day she leaves and the few days after she's left..... cause I believe it either hasn't hit yet or that you weren't as in love with her as you thought you were....I will be there for you when/if it does hit and you know that, I've told you that..... i just don't want to be lead on when you have no intention of anything more than friends with me......

I sent you a birthday card........to where you are now..... I hope you get it... but not only that.... I hope you like it...... I hope you acknowledge it... I text yo this morning and you never replied.... i get you may be busy but still........ It's not like you to not reply and i was hoping that the card would arrive today and you would text to at least say thanks....I'm sure you will if/when you get it because you wouldn't just ignore it.......

I have feelings for you okay.. i was over them and i was happy for you and her... it kinda sucked but i was happy that you both were happy and  I would talk to you about how your dates went with her and all of that because i cared.....but now after being there for you and just everything..... the feelings are bak and stronger than before and i don't know what to do.... i guess we wait and see how things go when we hang out after you get back and just how much time you spend with her......cause that will tell me if you two decided to stop things where they are because there's no point to just carry on and enjoy it while it lasts.......

Whatever happens i just want you to be happy..... But most of all i want you to be my best guy mate and not turn out like my old best guy mate who is now all about his GF.......

You are fine, you are sweet
Fine, I'm still a bit naive with my heart
When you're close, I don't breathe
I can't find the words to speak and I feel sparks

But I don't wanna be into you
If you're not looking for true love
No, I don't wanna start seeing you
If I can't be your only one,

I dont like you atm..... just finall yfound a song that explained how i do feel.....

YOU

You told me today i was soo cute and you would keep me around a little longer and then you told me im a wonderful friend.... why do you have to be taken and moving away aswell???!!!!  You are so sweet and we get along so well.  WHYYY??!!!!! Does God intentionally place guys like you in my life to test me????!!! You are ideal!! You woo me without trying! i told you today i liked making people smile and you said that i always make you smile....... why do you have to be like that??!! I don't like you.. I'm over that but there's gotta be someone else out there like you..... One day...........

Friends

You said to me this morning "You've just mentioned 5 guys in 5 minutes! That's a guy a minute!" You don't know how much that hurt. You tell me im not a sugar plum fairy but you keep making me out to be. I just wanted to tell you about the conversations i had with people last night. I'm sorry they were all guys and you seem  to be lacking guy friend atm but i was that girl once! My best friend had all the guys falling off her and i barely had a good guy mate. I know what you're going through but that doesnt mean i cant talk about my guy friends to you. You keep judging me when i talk about guys, you say you don't but you do whether you realise it or not. I appreciate the way you have been there for me and helped me through things but sometimes i don't need to be judged. i do that enough myself.

Patterns

Just because i start talking to a different guy that i don't usually don't talk to doesn't mean i am going to start having a thing for him. He is a really awesome guy who i can spend hours talking to as i have recently discovered. You actually offended me when you said that I have a pattern and then keep bringing it up. he's obviously gonna be able to help me with my study for calculus and we proved today that we will be able to help each other. if he can help me to get better grades then of course i wanna spend more time with him. i enjoy his company and he's really intelligent. we spent an hour just sitting there today distracting each other from our studies but helping each other at the same time. I am not going to go looking for a relationship with him when 1. i've only just started getting to know him and I'm not falling into that trap again and 2. he's planning on moving away in february anyway so there would be no point. he is just a friend, a study buddy and i would appreciate it if you didn't judge me because of that. Yeah sure it seems like i've gone straight from guy A to guy B but like you said to me, Guy B has been there in the shadows for a long time and i just kept denying it. Just let me and him enjoy each others company as friends please.